Welcome! So you've always wondered what I think about, what my observations on life are, and what I find important, which is why you're here! Or maybe not...
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(The archives are located at the bottom of this page)
I was going to post the following last night, but never got around to it, so here it is this evening:
It's finally Friday...I'm too tired to get that excited, though. Work has been going well; I feel like all of us are finally getting settled into our new routines after the move to another suite and the changes to our procedures. It's nice to have things flowing smoothly again!
I bought a LotR: TTT page-a-day calendar earlier this month, and am enjoying most of the stills from the movies. If the still is of Gollum, I don't rip the page in front of it off, because who wants to stare at Gollum all day? Today's still is of Aragorn...not too bad, but it would be even better if it was Boromir or Legolas or Faramir or Eomer :D
I've never read the LotR trilogy...I once tried reading The Hobbit, but didn't make it too far, and wrote off everything written by JRR Tolkein. After seeing the LotR trilogy in film, I think it's time to give the books another chance. I bought a nice 4-volume set off eBay for only $10 and plan to begin reading the first LotR book soon.
Now for tonight's stuff:
Some thoughts I've been having lately...
I didn't grow up as a Christian, and when I became one at 22 years old I discovered an incredible freedom and joy
I was blessed with good friends and an awesome church and grew as a Christian, and God blessed me in so many ways.
Then one day I ran across some people who began placing heavy burdens on me, telling me that I was in sin and that I lacked obedience, and the joy began draining away as the load got heavier and heavier. I began despairing of my being pleasing to God and found myself falling into the trap of works-based faith, and worry about the loss of my salvation and being such a horrible Christian.
That's impacted me in so many little ways that I wasn't even aware of until recently. Being plagued by a haunting sense of guilt because I wasn't good enough or obedient enough, and knowing I could never be. And because of that guilt and knowledge that I could never be good enough, I gave up trying. It's not in me to attain perfect obedience and perfection and to measure up to so many requirements being spelled out by fellow Christians. I felt like a failure, one without much hope.
But I'm rediscovering grace. I'm rediscovering my complete and utter unworthiness and the depravity of my heart, and in that discovery I'm finding freedom and joy again. Why joy? How, in the face of what seems like a discovery that should drive me deeper into despair?
Because if I'm completely unworthy and depraved, there's nothing...NOTHING! I can do to be acceptable to God! I'm released from the false gospel of works and freed to the gospel of Love. I'm falling in love with God once again
And being in love with God is a wonderful thing...and realizing that His grace has freed me from works is reason to rejoice
Some might think that focusing on grace will lead to sinning because of the knowledge of forgiveness, but a true realization of grace leads to love of God, and that love gives fruit to a desire to please God.
When you love someone, you delight in doing things that make them happy. You want to give to them, surprise them with gifts, make them smile. You want to please them and are eager to do things for them. None of that flows out of fear or anxiety about being good enough...you know that they love you just as you are, and you love them and delight in doing things that please them.
And that, I believe, is what our relationship with God should be like...one of joy, grace and love, out of which flow obedience and a desire to please Him.
True freedom...true joy. And I'll take that any day over the bondage of works and legalism
- posted by Kimberly @ 10:21 PM
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Thursday, February 19, 2004
Just a little something I think y'all will enjoy...
Dissatisfaction...rarely a comfortable feeling, but one that is oftentimes good for us. Dissatisfaction with things in our lives can lead us to re-evaluate priorities and make changes that bring many benefits. I believe that God often uses our dissatisfaction to bring about growth.
Why am I pondering this tonight? A growing sense of dissatisfaction with many things in my life. Don't get me wrong...I have a good life with many blessings, and I'm thankful for them, but I also feel that I need to work on some changes. I tend to get in the habit of 'going with the flow' and letting the currents of life make decisions for me, or I fall prey to the habit of procrastination and let things stagnate in status quo.
But I have to sit back and ask myself...am I doing as well at my job as I could be? Am I being faithful to God and to my employers with my actions? How could I do better? How is my attitude (good or bad) affecting my work? Am I doing my work as if I were doing it for God, or am I trying to coast and put out the minimum amount of effort?
Then it comes to my personal life...when am I going to get serious about regular exercise? About eating better? And when am I going to do better with keeping the house in order? When will I learn to be more disciplined with my finances? How serious am I about being a good steward of all that God has blessed me with?
Then there are the spiritual questions...when am I going to seriously look for a new home church? When will I get my reading priorities balanced? How about my prayer life? And finding an offline ministry to be actively involved in?
How much longer am I going to drift?
I ask these things, not out of a desire to condemn myself, but out of a desire to do better, to live a life worthy of the calling God has bestowed upon me, to be the woman God intended from the beginning of time.
I do understand that there's nothing I can do or say to make God love me more...He already loves me more than I can imagine...but out of that love comes the witness of His working in my heart and I desire that once again. I want my life to overflow with His joy and the assurance only His love can bring, and for that confidence to be evident in all I say and do.
I want to find a body of believers with which to fellowship, to hear God's word preached regularly, to share the joys and sorrows of fellow believers.
I want to feel secure in my job, knowing that I'm doing my best and am being honest and responsible.
I want to get out of the house more often, to see the outdoors, to ride my bicycle, to enjoy the workout of muscles being used, to enjoy the fresh air and sunlight.
Most of all, I want to be the woman God intended me to be...strong, free as only He can make one free, joyous, steadfast...
The signs of winter are fading, slowly but surely, and hints of spring are peeping through the snow.
Lord, may this spring truly bring a renewal in my heart and life...I offer it to You, such as it is, and ask that You do Your will in me.
We had an extremely interesting day at work today. Two people in one of the departments were fired. Quietly, but fired all the same. Needless to say it brought on a somber mood throughout the rest of the day. I know many people were examining their behavior to see if there were any issues that might lead to problems for them. I know it was a hard decision, but it wasn't one made lightly, and the two who were fired were given plenty of notice and time to deal with the issues that led to the firing.
I went to work an hour early this morning, and it turns out that it's a good thing I did! I had plenty of proofreading to do...over 50 rush files were in the bin waiting to be done as soon as possible. Just call me Speedy Gonzalez
I got them done in 45 minutes! Yep, you read it correctly...45 minutes! It was a good start to what was a good day for the most part.
I had a new proofreader to train today. She seems to be catching on well and is asking good questions, so I think she may work out. That would be good...so far this last 3 weeks I've had 4 new proofreaders to train (all temps). One is still with us, another decided this job wasn't what she wanted to do long-term, the one I had yesterday didn't work out, and there's the one who started today. I may have another new proofer to train tomorrow! I know I'll have at least one more if not two next week We're gonna need them, though...business is supposed to be hectic come mid-March!
One of the biggest blessings in my home life is my cat, Riley. I know, some of you will be wondering how a cat could be such a blessing, but he is. Right now my baby is laying down next to my keyboard keeping me company as I write this blog. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and he'll be curled up on the pillow next to mine or tucked against the back of my knees, sleeping.
I've had many cats in my life, but none as special as my baby. As much as it's possible for a cat to love, he loves me. I'm so thankful God brought him into my life...he's one of the most special things I've ever been given by God, and I thank Him for Riley regularly. How could anyone not love something so cute and cuddly? He knew I wouldn't be able to resist
- posted by Kimberly @ 6:51 PM
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Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Peaceful evenings are wonderful. I've been relaxing, reading a book and listening to the falling rain
During lunch today I went to a nearby grocery store to buy the ingredients for turkey chili. It's a very simple recipe! Ground turkey breast, chopped onions, minced garlic, kidney beans, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce and chili powder to taste. Cook the turkey with the onions and garlic, add the beans, tomatoes and sauce, season to taste with chili powder, and simmer for about an hour. Yummy!
I made enough for lunch and dinner for the next two days, and I'll have that along with some whole wheat pita bread.
While at the store I found a large stuffed floppy elephant for $10, so I bought it for my roommate. She loves elephants , and her pleasure (excitement? Happiness?) at getting this will be worth the $10
I had the TV on earlier, and was watching The World of Sid and Marty Croft on TV Land...very interesting! The Brady Bunch, HR Pufinstuff, Hoo Doo and a score of other characters running around doing their thing in front of an audience of screaming pre-adolescents. Kinda makes me want to see HR Pufinstuff again, though...
Afterwards I turned the TV off again so I could hear the rain falling. I'm sure you've guessed by now I have a thing for rain
When I was on vacation at the outer banks of NC last year I especially enjoyed the thunderstorms. It was fun to sit on the screened porch of the beach house we rented and watch the rain come down in torrents. I wish I could go back there this year, but it doesn't look as if that'll happen. Maybe next year, Lord willing.
It looks like the vacation I'll be taking this year will be visiting two of my friends in northern Ohio the first week or so of July. I know I'll have a great time with them and they'll show me the sights around that part of the country. I'm kinda hoping that if finances allow to visit another friend who lives in North Carolina in the autumn.
One of the neatest things about the internet and the forums at Crosswalk.com are the friendships I've made all over the world, and the opportunities to travel to places where I already know someone I also hope to open my home to friends who come out this way
I need to be at work early tomorrow...around 400 orders were trapped in the system before reaching us, and they found out about them today and wanted to get as many out as soon as they could, so some people stayed to do overtime. Rather than stay late (I was itching to get home!), I opted to go in at 7am tomorrow and do my overtime then.
Which means it's nearly my bedtime...hopefully this'll be me in an hour or so Goodnight!
This has been a bumming around kind of day. I didn't change out of my nightclothes, and have done nothing more than watch some TV (Cold Case, John Walsh show, Cops), read a bit, and look for clean jokes online and post lots of them in the humor section of my forum.
I had a grilled bacon and cheese sandwich for lunch, and am contemplating making pancakes for dinner.
I did nothing...that's right! NOTHING! around the house today With the weather being what it is, I think it was the perfect thing to do It began raining late yesterday, and has done so off and on throughout last night into today. Along with the rain we have a blustery wind. A perfect day for some jazz music, a good book and hot tea. I wish I'd thought of that earlier!
- posted by Kimberly @ 5:36 PM
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I'm off today, and decided to watch the John Walsh show. Today's show (I think this channel plays the previous day's show) was about forgiving someone who had done the unforgiveable to you.
The first story was about Bruce Murakami. One day as he left for work, he kissed his wife goodbye and told her he loved her, then his 11 year old daughter ran up to him telling him not to forget to kiss her too, and he did.
Later that day as he was driving somewhere, he saw a black column of smoke and headed that direction. The smoke was from a car accident where two young men had been drag racing and crashed. Tragically, Bruce's wife and daughter were innocent victims of that crash, and died in a fiery wreck.
One of the young men (Justin) who was drag racing was also in the accident, while the other left the scene in his car. Bruce shared an incredible story of a desire for justice that eventually turned into a story of forgiveness.
You can find the story here, at a memorial website Bruce created for his wife and daughter.
Bruce is a Christian, and credits God's grace for the ability to forgive Justin.
He also founded an organization called Safe Teen Driver. From the site:
The Safe Teen Driver program features Bruce Murakami and the driver who killed his wife and daughter, Justin Cabezas, speaking together about choices on the road and in life.
Through photographs and heartfelt words, teens hear firsthand of the devastation caused by a single reckless choice. They meet both Bruce Murakami and Justin Cabezas and learn of the pain and growth that each has experienced. The program closes with Bruce talking about the process of forgiveness and with the astounding realization that Bruce has not only forgiven Justin, but embraced him.
It's a holiday...why do my cats have to wake me up at 6am??? Uggghhhh....
- posted by Kimberly @ 6:24 AM
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Sunday, February 15, 2004
Cold Case is always an interesting show. I love the way they do flashbacks and play music of the period when the crime happened.
Tonight's show took place in the late 50s, and the song they played at the end was "Sweeter Than You" by Ricky Nelson.
I could never be loved by anyone sweeter than you And I could never belong to anyone sweeter than you With you to stand beside me I'll never be alone And what more could I long for than to have you for my own
My only desire is loving you eternally For no, no other love could ever mean so much to me So if you say you love me forever I'll be true And what more could I long for than to live my life with you
I could never be loved by anyone sweeter than you And I could never belong to anyone sweeter than you
I'm watching Under the Tuscan Sun, which many have said is a really good movie, and I've been somewhat entertained but won't be watching it again. I'm not wild about how the main character jumps into bed with a man she just met. That usually ruins a movie for me. The portrayal of homosexuality and gay parenting bothers me, too.
Today has been a very nice day. It started out as a sunny day, but has eventually become overcast. I've opened some windows to enjoy the fresh air, and turned the movie off so I could enjoy the peace and quiet.
California's Gold featured a tourist attraction in southern California near San Diego. The Desert View Tower. It was really interesting to learn about it, and if I'm ever down that way I'd like to visit it.
California Heartland focuses more on the agricultural side of California, and is always fun to watch. Right now they're cooking with fresh produce out in a field. Oh, my! They're using zucchini, yellow squash, corn and some other stuff...looks really yummy!!!
One of the coolest things about California are the farmers' markets and the sheer variety of produce to be found. In about a month I'll begin visiting my favorite market again. It's located under one of the elevated freeways and is open on Sundays. It's fun to get up early on Sunday, go to the farmers' market, buy produce, bread, fresh flowers, fish, eggs, or a few other things, get home and go to church. I love it :)
It began raining a little while ago...I love rain. I love the smell of it and the feel of it, and I love that it makes everything green.
I bought a bike earlier today, but need to figure out how to tighten the seat so it doesn't twist. It's supposed to automatically lock, and it is pretty tight, but it still shifts a bit when I'm riding it. I'm not too concerned since I'm not planning to do anything extreme with the bike, but I'd feel safer if the seat didn't move.
I have tomorrow off, and need to go to the laundromat in the morning. I don't really mind going to the laundromat because I get my laundry done much faster than if I was at home.
Well, it's nearly time for America's Funniest Videos, so I'm off :)
- posted by Kimberly @ 6:50 PM
Yep, you read it correctly...45 minutes! 
It was a good start to what was a good day for the most part.
I know I'll have at least one more if not two next week 
We're gonna need them, though...business is supposed to be hectic come mid-March!
I know, some of you will be wondering how a cat could be such a blessing, but he is. Right now my baby is laying down next to my keyboard keeping me company as I write this blog. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and he'll be curled up on the pillow next to mine or tucked against the back of my knees, sleeping.
, and her pleasure (excitement? Happiness?) at getting this will be worth the $10 
Kinda makes me want to see HR Pufinstuff again, though...
I also hope to open my home to friends who come out this way 
Goodnight! 
But I'm being a responsible adult 
and am getting ready to head off to work soon 
With the weather being what it is, I think it was the perfect thing to do 
