Welcome! This is where I'll share about what's going on in my life, thoughts and observations, interesting links, and generally meandering rambling :) I hope you enjoy it! I won't be posting on a daily basis, but you can count on seeing an update at least once a week :) If you'd like to comment on anything I say, feel free to email me by clicking here. The email address here isn't my regular one, it's the one I use for my site so that the spam senders don't get my personal email address :) The most recent entries can be found at the bottom of the page so that this page reads in chronological order. Tuesday, July 9th, 2002 What a busy day today! My mom's birthday is July 14th, and she'll be turning 60. We're having a surprise party for her on Saturday the 13th, and this week I'm shopping during my lunch for decorations and such. I have Friday off, and will be doing the food shopping and cooking then. I'm already tired out just thinking about all of it! LOL! The city of Sacramento does a Neighborhood Cleanup day in each neighborhood once a year, and tomorrow is the day for my neighborhood. My roommate Marcia helped me clean stuff out of the garage and get it out on the curb, and we also pulled out the carpet in the living room, uncovering the unfinished hardwood floor beneath. The carpet reeked, and I'm not even going to think about all the years I've walked barefoot on it! The floor has stains on it, but should be fairly easy to clean. At least it smells better than that carpet! I spent most of my evening doing the graphics and page for this site, and need to get to bed soon! It's nearly midnight, and I want to be up at 6am. I'm way too tired to write much more here, so I'm done :) Wednesday, July 10th, 2002 It was a bit of a shock walking into the house tonight and not seeing the yucky avocado green carpet in the living room! The bad thing is that the wood floor stinks a bit because of all the odors blocked in by the carpet :( I also scrubbed the floor tonight so I think that intensified the odors. From what I can see from here, it looks like I managed to get it looking much cleaner! Work went well today. My betta is doing really well, but I'm still not sure what to name him. I'm leaning towards George, after George Gershwin, who wrote "Rhapsody in Blue". The fish is a beautiful teal blue with purple edging on his fins. During lunch I did some more shopping for my mom's birthday party, and discovered a really neat store! It's the 99¢ Store, and they have fantastic deals. I plan to shop there regularly :) The weather here this week has been incredibly hot. 109° yesterday, 111° today, expected to be 110° tomorrow. Bleah. It's only supposed to be around 100° on Saturday, which is good. I can't wait until this heat wave breaks :) I think I may go to bed early tonight...I've fallen out of the habit of walking each morning, and really need to get back into it before I lose all the progress I've made. I really do enjoy the fresh air in the mornings, and the energy I always feel after exercising, and want to keep the habit going for life. I just looked at the floor in the living room, and it looks great! Wow! I guess I should consider scrubbing the dining room floor next :) I'm gonna wait on that, though. I have so much to do this week...tomorrow I need to clean my kitchen, then on Friday I need to finish shopping for the food and things for my mom's party, and cook the meats, and get everything ready to take to my sister's house on Saturday. Deep thought for the day: Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on life, as I'm single, and I struggle with seeing others in relationships while I don't have one. It's a natural yearning, to matter to someone and to have a special man in my life, but I don't want to get so focused on it that I become dissatisfied with what I do have and begin coveting what I don't. Yes, life would be richer in some ways with a man, but I already have so many wonderful things that I don't need to lose focus of. God has blessed me with a job, a car that's paid for, low rent, a beautiful cat, my family, His salvation...His salvation alone is an incredible enough gift. It's amazing that He's blessed me with so much more. At times I see someone who seems to be exactly what I want, but nothing happens. That's when I need to decide to trust God; to know that He has plans for me that have been, are being and will be fulfilled throughout my life. I see with my eyes which are blinded, but He sees the innermost parts of each person, and He knows what's best for me. I choose to trust Him, no matter what. It's not always easy, and I do get lonely and sad, but when I compare that to eternity with Him, I know that this will someday be a distant memory, and what I have then will far surpass what I could ever imagine. God knows the desires of my heart, and I can safely place them in His hand, knowing that His way is best. Amen! Thursday, July 11th, 2002 Quite a day today! Work went well, it wasn't too busy, but not to slow, either. I came home intending to clean my kitchen, but got sidetracked by reading forums online, and then I got hungry for dinner, so I went to the grocery store. I bought peking pork over chicken fried rice for dinner, along with a chicken egg roll :) It was yummy! My sister was supposed to come by tonight, and she got here around 9pm. My niece Jenice is raising money to go to a talent competition in southern California, and I put together tickets and flyers tonight. I think they came out really well! Laura and the girls finally left around 10:30, and now I'm typing my journal and contemplating cleaning the kitchen tonight or getting up early tomorrow and doing it. I need to do it, because my stepbrother Mike will be here at 8am tomorrow morning to pick me up so we can go to Pottery World and pick out a fountain for my mom's birthday present. I don't want him seeing the kitchen as messy as it is right now. I may just go to bed as soon as I finish this and get up early tomorrow. That might be easier... I have VH1 Classic on right now, and just saw a Duran Duran video - New Moon on Monday. That was one awesome group in the 80s! They made the best videos :) Well, I'm off to bed. Nothing much interesting to say tonight, I know :) Oh, well...it might be dull, but it's my life :D Friday, July 12th, 2002 I'm worn out, and still have plenty to do tomorrow. I was up at 630 this morning, cleaning my kitchen so that it would be presentable when my stepbrother came by at 8am. He and I went shopping for a fountain for my mom's birthday present, and had a great time We first went to Pottery World, and looked at fountains but they were all really expensive. While Mike was talking to the sales clerk, I looked around and found an Indian cotton throw rug marked down to $10, originally $30! I bought two :) After looking around a bit and not finding anything we liked, Mike decided to take the suggestion of the clerk and drive out to their Rocklin store, which was 3 times the size. While we were walking back to Mike's SUV, I suggested we look in the phone book for another fountain store in the area, and that's how we ended up at Racey's. We found the nicest fountain with cute little frogs on it, and we also bought a cement frog on a stump with the word "welcome" on the stump, and three ceramic mushrooms, all for just over $200! It's going to look so nice in their backyard once Mike gets it set up for them :) Mike dropped me off at home about 11am, and I began my day of shopping. I first went to Smart & Final and bought quite a few things there, but not the meat. I didn't like the prices of their frozen meat. On the way home, I decided to stop at Safeway, and I'm so glad I did!!! I bought 15 lbs of hamburger for $23, and 3 4lb bags of frozen chicken breasts for $16! What a wonderful blessing! I went home and unloaded my car, then headed up to Rancho Cordova to the 99¢ Only store for a few more things. I bought two trays with a sunflower pattern, 5 bowls with a sunflower pattern, some towels to line the baskets for the chips and napkins, blue and yellow foam plates, napkins and a couple other things. After the 99¢ Only store, I headed to Dollar Tree and bought blue and yellow tablecloths, some artificial sunflowers, a vase, and two sunflower placemats. If you haven't noticed yet, the theme for my mom's party is blue, yellow and sunflowers :) My next stop was Wishing Well, where I bought some foil pans for the meats, then I headed home. It was after 3pm by the time I got home, and I began cooking the chicken. Hours later, the chicken is cooked and shredded, and the ground beef is done as well. Oh, yeah...I forgot to tell about the 6 ivy bowls...I put blue and white marbles inside of them, tied yellow and blue tulle around the rims and made pretty bows with it; then I tied blue and yellow tulle around the rim of the vase and put blue and yellow marbles inside of it and the fake sunflowers in it. The ivy bowls will be centerpieces on each table, filled 2/3rd with water and then a floating sunflower candle inside each one. I tied yellow and blue tulle bows on the baskets for the napkins and chips, and tied yellow and blue tulle bows on the 2 medium sized terra cotta pots for the utensils. I lined the baskets with white and yellow striped towels, and the terra cotta pots with white and yellow striped washcloths. While my sister and I are taking my mom out to lunch and an activity tomorrow, Mike will be doing the decorating and heating up the food and setting everything up. I've drawn diagrams and written out instructions :) It's a good thing he's not only a good cook but an interior designer as well! My sister came by to pick up some raffle tickets she left here last night, and I rode with her to the restaurant that's holding a raffle and a fundraising dinner for Jenice. Jenice attended a thingy a few weeks ago for a talent agency, and was called back to attend their classes and be part of a talent competition in L.A. in front of talent and casting agents. Her dream is to become a singer, and this is exciting for her. She's been working hard to help raise the money, and has been doing car washes every weekend. The raffle tickets and fundraising dinner are part of how my sister is trying to help raise the money for Jenice. I've been helping out by making flyers and the tickets for the fundraising dinner. I watched Speed again tonight, and like it even more :) Keanu's very cute in that movie! It's also romantic at the end when he can't get Annie loose from the bar in the subway train, and instead of leaving her, he sits down and holds her, even though the train is out of control and is going to crash, and they're expecting to die. Now that's a very manly man quality!!! I need to get to bed soon so I can get up early tomorrow. I have to go to Sam's Club, get a membership, buy a cake and the remainder of the food, come back home, wash the dishes I need to bring along, load my car, and head to Woodland, all by 1130 at the very, very latest. Then my sister and I need to go to pick up my mom, take her out to lunch and figure out how to kill 3 hours. AAAUUUGGGHHHH!!! I'm going to be insane before this is over! LOL I began listening to Hugh Hewitt recently, and really like his show! Someone in a message forum I participate in recommended him to me, and also recommended Ann Coulter's latest book, "Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right", which I found at Buy.com for $14.01, a huge savings from it's list price of $25.00, as well as free shipping! Totally cool :) I'm looking forward to getting it and reading it, but don't know when that'll be, as it's on backorder. I also got a book in the mail today that I bought off Half.com. It's by Star Parker, titled, "P*imps, Wh*res and Welfare Brats, The Stunning Conservative Transformation of a Former Welfare Queen", and it's about her journey from taking advantage of the welfare system to being one of the foremost African-American female conservatives, and how the system in America today is destroying black families. It looks really good! No deep thoughts today...I've been too busy to think deeply! :D Sunday, July 14th, 2002 Whew! My busy weekend is over, and all I did today was veg :) I was up early Saturday, and had to go shopping at Food Source for a few things, then off to Sam's Club for a cake and the sodas. After the shopping, I headed home and loaded up the car, then drove to my sister's house in Woodland, where we transferred everything from my car to her van, then we drove to my mom's house. When we got to the park she lives in, we drove to the back of the clubhouse and unloaded everything, then drove to her house and acted like we'd just arrived at the park. Laura and I had decided to take my mom out to lunch at this restaurant in Williams called Granzella's, which has great food :) It's quite the deli as well, with lots and lots of specialty items. While Laura and I were having lunch with our mom, our stepbrother and his friend were back at the park, decorating the clubhouse and putting the meats in the oven to heat up. We planned a taco/fajita bar for the dinner, and I'd cooked the chicken and hamburger the night before then put it into foil pans. Laura cooked the beans and rice that morning. When lunch was done, we still had some time to kill, and we found a small...VERY small...flea market and wandered around it for 20 minutes or so. My mom bought a really cute hat for Ariel, and a straw hat for herself :) We headed back to her house and arrived there around 4:20. I called Mike at the clubhouse to let him know we were back, and he drove to the house and pretended to have just arrived. We all headed to the clubhouse, and when my mom walked in, all the people there yelled, "Surprise!", and she was!!! :) The party went really well. Mike and his friend did a wonderful job decorating and setting up, and all I had to do was get the food out and make sure everything was ready. I'm so glad it was a surprise for my mom, and everyone had fun! Many of the seniors at the park came and told me how nice it was, how good the food was, and that they really enjoyed it :) My mom got some nice gifts from the people at the park, and after opening those, we had her unveil the fountain we bought for her, and she loved it! I also got a surprise at the party. When Mike and I had shopped for the fountain, there was a cement horse head I really liked, and he bought it for me without my realizing it! It's my birthday present from him, and it's really cool. It looks like Helenistic art, and you can see the power of the horse. It's weathered and has a green finish that looks like oxidized copper. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it :) It looks like one of those neat statues you'd see in London, and it weighs a ton. It took two guys to carry it into the house! It's in my living room next to the TV, and will stay there for a long, long time :) I finally got home around 9pm, and since then I've been a lazy bum. I didn't go to church today, though :( Right now I'm watching 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' on Bravo, and it's very well done. Great costumes! I discovered a very good soda...Hansen's Cherry Vanilla Creme! Now to find a store other than Sam's Club that carries it! I finally found the video tape with 9-11 on it and watched it today. If you don't recall, 9-11 was the program aired by CBS in March, on the 6 month anniversary of 9-11, done by the french filmmakers who'd originally been making a documentary about the life of a probationary firefighter and were there when the terrorists attacked. I cried. Watching this was like seeing it happen again and brought back all the feelings of that awful morning. I'm glad I taped it, though. I don't ever want to forget, and I do want things like this for the future. I hadn't planned to watch this today, but I began watching Cops on Court TV, and it was set in New York city before 9-11, and everytime they showed the twin towers, I teared up. How can anyone fully comprehend what happened, even 10 months later? All I know is that we saw the face of evil that day, and that evil still threatens us. Thank God for our President and the men and women who serve our country, whether in the military or the police force, fire department and other agencies! And on that note, I'm off to bed :) Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002 Yep, it's been a while since I've written in here! Life's kinda boring, and I'm not motivated to do much these days. Let's see...what's happened in the last week...work, coming home, reading...nothing much to write about! LOL! Hey, is anyone reading this??? I know one person is, but is she the only one? Monday, August 5th, 2002 Well, I'm now 37 years old! My birthday was August 1st, and it was a very fun one this year :) My coworkers surprised me with small gifts and cards. Shelly gave me a teddy bear, Linda gave me a mini CD with 5 P.O.D. songs, Molly gave me a small box of See's Chocolates, and Shirley gave me a journal and a small bag of gummy worms. The department gave me a violet. After work, my sister Laura and her family took me to Hometown Buffet, and we shopped at Ross after dinner. I bought a dress and a table at Ross. The dress is lacey, off-white and has roses on it, and the table has wrought-iron legs with a varnished wicker top. I'm using the table as a side table in my living room. Friday night after work I went to Vallejo's restaurant for the fundraising dinner for my niece Jenice. We sat outside in the courtyard and were treated to live music by a band named Agua Dulce. They play latin rock, and it's really good! I'm gonna buy me their CD :) Jenice sang a few songs, and did very well. The buffet dinner was excellent - they had fantastic carnitas (that's how I rate Mexican restaurants :D). All in all it was a really enjoyable evening, and the fundraiser netted about $650, which is good. My sister Erin won a CD and a gift certificate to a local used book store from the raffle, and she gave me the gift certificate to the bookstore - a very nice treat! I went to bed around 9:30pm Friday night because I was so tired, and woke up around 9:15am Saturday morning! I haven't slept so long in a very long time. I relaxed Saturday morning, then did some shopping. I bought a birthday present for my stepbrother Mike as well as another betta fish. Later that evening Mike and his friend Doug picked me up and we met my stepsister Erin, her roommate Rhonda and Rhonda's younger sister at The Olive Garden for dinner. I've never eaten there before, and it was nice! I had chicken marsala for dinner, along with two plates of salad and some breadsticks. I also indulged in a glass of The Olive Garden's in-house blush wine, which was sweet and fruity. I rarely drink, but decided to indulge a bit since I wasn't driving and it was a special occasion. I was home early and went to bed before 10pm. I overslept for church on Sunday :( I've fallen out of the habit of attending and need to quit doing that and get back into the habit. I did some shopping, and bought a small tank for my betta at PetsMart, then stopped at Goodwill and found some neat cassette tapes by Steve Taylor, WhiteCross, The Seventy-Sevens and Keith Green. I also bought 2 HeartSong romances and a hardback book - The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady as well as a small table and a blue and white striped piece of fabric that I'll put on the front porch as a stand for a plant container. Right now Jasper is using it as a bed :) I set up the fish tank, did some housecleaning Sunday afternoon, fiddled around online and read a book. Later in the evening I watched U.S. Marshals on TNT. I'd never seen it before, and liked it. I missed the first half hour, so I need to watch it again. While I was cleaning yesterday, I listened to Hawaiian music on Dish satellite - very nice and relaxing! My house is looking nice these days :) Marcia is going to help me paint, and I'll be buying the paint for the living room and dining room this coming weekend. The living room will be crème colored, and the dining room will be blue. We're also going to paint the kitchen eventually, and it'll be yellow and white. The weather lately has been cooler than usual, in the high 80s, low 90s. Today it was only 85°! It feels like late summer/early fall, and I'm really enjoying it :) I'm looking forward to going to Apple Hill in a month or so, but first the State Fair. I need to find someone to go with me, but if necessary, I'll go alone. I don't want to miss out on all the fun of the fair, even though it's not as much fun when I go alone. I got a nice surprise at work today - every year, the company buys flowers for a person on their birthday. I didn't get any on my birthday and was a little sad, but figured it had been discontinued. I got them today! A lovely bouquet in a triangular shape, with snapdragons, statice, carnations, astridnoma(?) and lots of greenery, in a white flower pot. It smells really good :) I'm leaving it at work so I can enjoy it, and so the cats don't eat the flowers. My cats view any bouquet as their personal salad bar :) Jasper (my big white cat, the oldest of the three and the only one allowed outdoors) brought me a gift this morning...I heard him meowing outside the front door and opened it to find him standing on the mat with a dead bird dangling from his mouth! LOL! He was happy as a clam and wanted to bring the bird inside the house. Uh-huh. LOL! I slammed the screen door closed and left him outside with his trophy :) Later when I went out the back door to empty the trash, Jasper came around without the bird, wanting in. I went to the front porch to look for the bird and throw it away, but all I could find were a few tufts of feathers...no bird. Jasper has it stashed somewhere, silly cat! When I got home a small package was waiting for me...it was the magenta faceplate for my cell phone. It's bright and cheery, and I like it :) There was no dead bird waiting for me on the front porch, thankfully! I wonder what Jasper did with it? I think I'll stop at Home Depot on the way home from work tomorrow and buy a container and flowers for my front porch..it's looking really nice with all the flowers I have on it, and I want it to look even better! I enjoyed walking into a clean living and dining room area...I'd planned to wash dishes tonight but got sidetracked...oh, well...they'll still be there tomorrow! LOL! Wednesday, August 14th, 2002 Life is going along well for me :) Last Saturday I was up early (6:30am) and went to my stepbrother Mike's house to pick up a check, then did a bit of grocery shopping. After going home and dropping off the groceries, I went to Home Depot and bought a dark green planter and some flowers. The night before I'd bought an iron plant stand at Ross - rectangular, and just the right size for a planter box that's about 2 to 2 1/2 feet long and 8 or so inches wide :) I bought 2 deep pink ivy geraniums, a delphinium (love that purply blue color!), and some alyssium and lobelia for the front of the box. It looks really nice! It's sitting under the window on my front porch :) After planting the flowers, I loaded up my stuff and headed to my mom and stepdad's house for the day. I enjoyed my time with them, although I probably drove my stepdad batty chatting while he was watching Tiger Woods play golf :D I fixed dinner for them, and introduced them to the joy of gardenburgers, and they were pleasantly surprised. They really liked them! I also made german hot potato salad and baked beans, and for dessert I made a jello/ice cream thingy and topped it with cool whip and fresh blackberries :) We watched "The Journey of Natty Gann", which is a favorite movie of mine, and then I spent some time with my mom. I left there around 745pm or so, and drove home. There's a radio station out of Chico that plays 80s music on Saturday nights, and they opened that part of their program with a favorite song of mine - "I Love Rock and Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. I was cruising along singing at the top of my lungs :D Sunday morning I overslept for church, and didn't wake up until around 11:15am. To my horror, my sister and brother-in-law showed up at 11:30am, unannounced and unexpected! :o LOL! I rushed to get dressed, then let them in. They wanted to go out for lunch, so I cleaned up and we went to the Old Spaghetti Factory. I had my usual potpourri platter, minus the clam sauce, with a salad topped with creamy pesto dressing, followed by vanilla ice cream. Strawberry lemonade to drink :) After lunch we all went back to my house and hung out for a couple of hours. Laura and David had dropped Jenice off to do some shopping for her upcoming auditions, and we were waiting for her to call us. In the meantime, we watched Blues Clues, a favorite of Ariel's. I'd never seen it before, and it was cute! She had a great time watching it :) I need to get a small toybox and start buying some toys for her to keep here. I also want to buy some clothes at the thrift store so she can play dress up. Laura said she loves clothes and shopping...she's starting out young! LOL They finally left around 3pm, and I did some shopping at Walmart. I bought some petunias and verbena, but didn't know where I was going to plant them. They were too pretty to pass up, though! I also bought a really cool iron sprinkler for my backyard and a new fitted sheet for my bed. My toenails wore a hole through the old one :( This is definately the month I'll be painting my living room and dining room! The living room is going to be a cream color called praline, and I'm not sure about the dining room. I'd originally planned on blue, but I'm not so sure now. I'm considering a medium moss green. Oh, the trials of choosing colors! In September I'll be having a family painting party and will be painting the kitchen in 2 shades of yellow as well as white. On Monday at work, we were told that since things were so busy, everyone had to do a minimum mandatory 30 minutes of overtime. They also told us that they'd be providing lunch 4 days this week. We had pizza on Monday :) I didn't start my overtime until Tuesday, though. Monday was my supervisor's birthday, so during lunch I went to RiteAid to find her a small gift. To my surprise, they were having a 50% off sale on all garden products, so I bought a really cool plastic hunter green colored urn for the back porch, and found some nice windchimes for the gift for my boss. When I got home on Monday, I planted the petunias and verbena in the urn and put it on the corner of my back porch. It looks really cool! I love the way my house is coming together :) Oh, I also proofed an all-time high amount of reports on Monday....197!!!!! I can't believe I managed to proof that many, but I did! Wow! I impressed myself :D I went to bed early Monday, and was up in time to make it to work by 8:30am on Tuesday. Tuesday was BUSY!!! I did a lot of typing in the morning, and proofing in the afternoon. For lunch on Tuesday, the company had food from Chevy's. Yummy :) This morning I was at work at 7am. It's a good thing, too! I had lots of proofing, and barely managed to keep up with it most of the day. Lunch today was sandwiches, chips and cookies :) I had to do a difficult thing today...the date for my annual review was June 2, and my supervisor (Adel) hasn't yet done my review. It's 2 1/2 months overdue as of now. I've asked her about it a couple of times, but haven't heard a thing about it yet, so I emailed her supervisor (Cindy) today. I hate doing stuff like that...I'm more likely to grin and bear it, even while some resentment and/or discouragement is building up inside me. I can't keep doing that, though, and have been working on it this year. I also asked Cindy about getting the raise retroactively. Cindy emailed me to let me know that she talked to Adel and Adel will do my review tomorrow. I'll also be getting the raise retroactively! God is so good. That money will go towards the brakes on my car, which I badly need to have worked on. One thing I struggle with is not wanting people to be angry or upset with me...it goes back to my childhood, and it's why I hate doing things like I did today. People being angry with me is scary at times, and it's amazing the lengths I've gone to to avoid that in the past. I was fine after I sent the email to Cindy, but a few hours afterwards, I began getting an upset stomach and feeling queasy. I'm not sure exactly what I'm afraid of...or maybe I do. When I was a child and my parents were angry, it usually meant my world was falling apart. With them having a turbulent marriage and divorcing when I was 11, then going through my teen years with different stepmoms and an unhappy home situation with my mom and stepdad, I was never secure and rarely felt loved and accepted unless I did things right. But I knew I couldn't do things to the standards I was given, so I didn't even try, which made things worse. I think I'm still hampered by that to this day in many ways. I'm often surprised when people like me and want to spend time with me, and even more amazed when they say good things about me. I see all my faults, and I know how lazy, sloppy and selfish I can be. I tend to feel as if I'm usually falling short of expectations, and that I have to do and say the right things to keep people from being angry or disappointed in me. Wow...I hadn't realized this was such a struggle for me still, but after writing about it I can see that it is :( Maybe this is why I've been lax about church for so long...food for thought and prayer! I'm so thankful we're new creations in Christ, and that He is able to take all of that from my past and bring good out of it :) Thankfully I don't feel this way all the time, like I used to. I'm just surprised it's still there to that degree, but sometimes healing takes time. God has done so much healing in my life...my going to Adel and then emailing Cindy AND actually asking about retroactive pay is a huge sign of that. Most of the time I'm aware of when I'm struggling with these feelings and have learned to move past them and do what needs to be done. Most of the time I'm fairly confident and communicative and don't walk in fear of making someone angry with me :) It's just that sometimes it's a bit more of an issue than others and right now seems to be one of those times. I think that means God is doing more healing in my life :D A pastor of mine once said that when things come up it usually means God is working in your life and there's healing in store for you, and I believe that's the truth! The California State Fair begins this Friday, and I need to find someone to go to it with me! If I can't, I may just have to go by myself, although that won't be quite as much fun. But at least I'll be there, y'know? :) The fair marks the end of summer and beginning of fall for me, and I love this time of year. It's already beginning to feel like summer is waning and fall is peeking around the corner :) I can't wait!!! This fall I'll be working on getting my house in order. I need to prep the flower beds in the backyard for next spring and cut back some bushes in one of the corners so I can put a table, umbrella and chairs back there next spring. My goal is to have the inside of my house painted and the outside looking good, and then to use this house as a place of ministry for single women. I'd like to start a bi-weekly single women's bible study at my church, which is why I need to get active there again and get involved in whatever they plan to do with the singles. I can see my house being a gathering place for single women, for fellowship and bible study and plain old fun :) I want it to be a hangout for them, and I believe that's the ministry God has given me. It's going to take a lot of work this year, but it'll all fall into place next spring...I can't wait! My current roommate Marcia is going to help me get things into shape, which is great :) She's only going to stay here a few months, and once she leaves, I'll look around for the next roommate God has lined up for me :) So there's the latest on my life :) Oh, yeah...I forgot. I have a cute little betta at home, and last week about this time I thought he was gonna die, so I nearly flushed him down the toilet. I decided to give him another night to see how he did, and he perked up! Now he's in his vase (no plant in the top...just a vase I'm using as a fish tank) and is lively as can be! I named him Lazarus :D Sunday, August 18th, 2002 Living alone is nice sometimes...this weekend has been one of those times :) I do have a roommate, but she was gone the entire weekend and I had the house to myself :) I did some cleaning and a few things in the yard, and did some shopping, too. Yesterday I went to RiteAid and got a few small things, then I went to Berean Christian Stores. I bought two books...This Time Around by Debra White Smith and Whirlpool by Lorena McCourtney. I've read both of them already, and they were GOOD! I highly recommend them :) One of the most thrilling things is the quality of Christian romantic fiction these days...in most cases it's comparable to the writing quality of secular romance, and in many cases is far superior. The absolute best author in that genre today is Dee Henderson. I love her books, and am a little in love with every one of her heroes :D I can't decide who my favorite one is! LOL I was listening to some CDs this evening while doing dishes and puttering around the house. One of the CDs I listened to was bigbluesky by Bebo Norman, and a song on there caught my attention. The song is titled, "Break Me Through", and the part that caught my attention is italicized and underlined. Today I woke up early, today I woke up sad It's funny how it hurts me, the love I've never had But I can feel you breaking me through this mess I can feel you through this loneliness Show me that life shines with you You show me that life shines with you Break me through I think that I can hear it, is it a trumpet or a train And now I'm drawing near it, and it's calling out my name I got nothing to lose, I got nothing to prove in this mess There's nothing to lose but all this emptiness If I had a ladder to reach up to the sky I would climb up there forever, it would just be you and I And I would feel you breaking me through this mess I would feel you through this loneliness It made me think of my post back on July 10th, and captured exactly how I feel at times. What I like about the song is that it doesn't end with that line, but goes on to say that life shines with God, and He's able to break me through the loneliness and bring me close to Him. Life does shine with Him. I also stopped at Target, and bought the movie "U.S. Marshals". It's the type of action movie I really like! I watched it last night before going to bed. Today I visited a couple of thrift stores, and for a grand total of $15, I bought the following: God's Time for Women - Women of Promise cassette Tailchaser's Song by Tad Williams Eternity in Their Hearts by Don Richardson Knowing God by J.I. Packer The Beginner's Bible (for Ariel) The Pursuit of Man by A.W. Tozer Changes That Heal by Henry Cloud The Joyful Journey by Patsy Clairmont, Barbara Johnson, Marilyn Meberg and Luci Swindoll Knowing the Heart of God by George MacDonald Incompatibility: Grounds for a Great Marriage by Chuck and Barb Snyder a cool plastic salad bowl I love thrift stores :D The last time I visited one, I got the following cassettes for $1 each: All Fall Down by The Seventy Sevens In the Kingdom by Whitecross Volume 1 of The Ministry Years by Keith Green Meltdown by Steve Taylor On the Fritz by Steve Taylor Limelight by Steve Taylor It's amazing how much Christian stuff can be found at thrift stores! It's just a matter of visiting regularly and searching :) I finally had my annual review last week, and it turned out really well! The two negatives I was expecting to hear about were brought up, and there were no surprises, which is good. I'm also going to get my raise retroactively, so hopefully I'll get a nice check at the end of the month! I sure could use it for the brakes on my car. Riley just did the strangest thing...I have the mop soaking in bleach water in a bucket, and I set the mop and bucket in the bathtub. Riley stood on the edge of the bathtub and is meowing at the mop and bucket...not aggressively, but like he's not sure what to think about it, and is asking what it is. LOL! What an absolutely silly cat! I'm so glad I have him :) Earlier today when I was slouched on the couch reading, he came over and laid down on me and went to sleep. He's my little baby!